Wednesday, July 27, 2005

One year ago....

Well, Monday was the one year anniversary of my grandmother's death. I held out all day, I didn't really get too down, and I was able to keep my emotions under control. Night time came, and I had almost fallen asleep, but the phone rang. It threw me into a flashback of last summer. The late night phone calls, the calls telling us that grandma was really going down hill. The phone calls that happened throughout the summer off and on. I woke up in a panic, my heart racing, and then I started to cry. I was crying because I miss her so much. I was crying because I can still so clearly remember the events of last summer. I was crying because some days it feels like it's been so long since she died, but most days it feels like it was just yesterday. I was crying because I could only imagine what my grandpa was going through, and then I was reliving the last half hour before she died, and I just cried. Poor matt was soaked hehe.....but I felt better afterwards.

So, in honour of my grandma, her amazing life and beauty, her strength, a strength that I'll forever admire and strive to achieve, and her love of life and family.....here is "SHe Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron. This is the poem that I read at her memorial service a year ago, and will always represent her spirit.

She Walks in Beauty

She walks in beauty like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies,
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to the tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One ray the more, one shade the less
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o'er her face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow
But tell of days in goodness spent
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.
-- Lord Byron, (George Gordon)

I love you grandma, and I miss you. But I always know you're close by. And I promise, I'm looking out for grandpa hehe.


Sara